The Business of Waiting

As I sit awake in the middle of the night (again) uncomfortable but not “in labor” I find myself pondering this business of waiting.  As a teenager, I often had trouble spelling the word business and so taught myself to pronounce it busy-ness in order to remember the i.  I have indeed tried to stay busy while waiting for this special girl to be born into our family.  I have cleaned the house many times over- just in case today’s the day.  I have been able to sew: a diaper bag, a nursing pillow cover, 3 nursing “house dresses” and 3 big sibling bags.  I have also been able to help Dusty get ahead with his homework so that hopefully he will not miss anything when the big day arrives. 

However, even with staying busy, I got pretty discouraged and frustrated earlier today that yet another day had passed with no “action”.  Tonight, I finally decided to be proactive and learn a little bit about waiting in order to be more patient.  Here’s what I came up with from the phenomenal book, “The Gift of Giving Life”:

In Hebrew, the word wait is the same as the word hope.

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.”

“Waiting denotes an active process…requires continual self-examination, constantly trying to become more worthy, and ever-deepening and progressive discipleship of a broken heart, a contrite spirit, a yielded will and consecration of self.  When we know that the guidance is of the Lord and the answer to our prayers are spiritual gifts, we cannot control or demand.  We must be content and peaceful.”  ~Dr. Lynn Callister

Just as the baby’s body is continuing to develop and gain weight in the last weeks and days of pregnancy, so their spirit is gaining the last moments of instruction and love from Heaven. 

Also, as a matter of perspective, most of the things we “wait” for in life that are tied to a calendar we don’t really have to wait for.  Waiting for Christmas to arrive on the 25th of December is nothing like waiting for the snow to melt and Spring to arrive.  Waiting for Halloween to arrive on the 31st of October is nothing like waiting to meet that special someone to whom you will marry.  Waiting for school to get out on the 28th of May is nothing like waiting to receive an answer to a prayer.

I have tried so hard this pregnancy to not focus on my baby’s due date but I am so accustomed to events on the calendar coming and going precisely when they are planned that I find myself viewing my baby’s birth in the same way.  However, as I wait/hope for my baby’s arrival, I’m starting to understand that hoping for my baby’s birth is more like having faith that the Lord will bless me.  I pay tithing with the faith that our bills will be taken care of (this kind of hope doesn’t have a date attached to it and yet the bills are “due” on a certain day and the monetary blessings always come through before the due date.)

As I continue to wait upon the Lord and our daughter, I hope to be able to be more patient with my new understanding.  I have done what I need to do. I know that I need to continue to keep myself healthy by eating right and getting good rest.  I can choose to be hopeful instead of waitful by taking advantage of this “extra” time to prepare for our baby’s arrival.  I can visualize her learning at the feet of my Grandmother or other loved ones gaining that last minute instruction that will help her have the strength and wisdom she will need on this earth.

Sidenote:  I’ve been so focused on waiting that the lyrics from this song keep popping in my head.  Anyone recognize them?  (hehe)

Doesn't morning wait for the sun to rise
Like a birthday waits for a big surprise
Like a baby waits for a diaper change
Doesn't laughter wait for a joke that's good
Like the big bad wolf for Red Riding Hood
Like a cowboy waits to be home on the range
After all I've said and all I've done
To prove my love is true
And now you ask if I'll wait for you
Doesn't mother wait for the bread to rise
Like a burger waits for an order of fries
Like a chicken waits for the egg to hatch
Didn't Alice wait for a Wonderland
Like Captain Hook did for Peter Pan
Like the alphabet waited for the letter Z
Like a faithful girl waits for her missionary

Gratitude

I have so many blessings!  I was especially grateful for my mother this Thanksgiving.  Being 9 months pregnant, the thought of preparing for a thanksgiving feast along with all the cleaning for company was completely overwhelming to me.  Words can't describe how nice it was for me to be able to drive a mile over to my parents beautiful home and enjoy such a family holiday without a care (okay, I brought the ice cream).  Especially so close to my due date, our Thanksgiving dinner would have been significantly less enjoyable had I been left to my own devices.
I shared my gratitude with my mom and tried to find words to express to her how incredibly nice it was for me not to have to worry about things and still be able to enjoy such a wonderful holiday.  Her reply was simply, "at least someone appreciates it."  I'm sure this was in part her attempt at modesty but it occurred to me how little mothers, and even grandmothers receive in return for their limitless service.  The best part is how mothers don't often seem to mind or even notice the lack of thanks and praise in their lives.  They would do it all again in a heartbeat.  I am so grateful for my mothers and grandmothers and their endless love and service and I hope to be able to emulate them.

With that said, my one contribution to the holiday was these super amazing paper cornucopia name cards and I helped set the table.  These pictures were taken by my sister, Sarah- fantastic!