Saturday, April 19, 2014

Home School in Oklahoma

Brian is now a Home School student.  We just finished our 4th week and here are some of the activities we've been doing.  Following the fun pictures is a rather lengthy explanation of how I made this decision for Brian and developed a plan for how to teach Brian at home.

Moon Sand

Lava Lamp

Brian Teaching Samantha how the Lava Lamp works

An exploration walk (we were on our way to the museum on-post)

Climbing the sideways tree

Museum (this is the outside portion)

Library

Nature Walk (see the cardinal!)

Ice Experiment

We have also watched some movies- like Magic School Bus, Wild Crats and National Geographic.  Brian has also completed about half of the requirements in his Wolf Cub Scout book.  He has done things like cook a meal outside, build a kite, build a windlass (water well crank) swim for 25 feet, learn about how to keep our world clean and how to save energy in our house.  We have a much, happier and helpful Brian and a much, much happier mama.

Here's the very lengthy story.
Home schooling is not a new topic for my Dusty and I.  We actually spoke a lot about and prayed about teaching Brian at home before he turned 5 and entered kindergarten at our local elementary school.  Our discussion at that point went something like this.  I am perfectly capable of teaching him at home because I have a teaching degree.  However, Brian and I might murder each other before any learning takes place.  I wanted him to learn to listen to and respect other adults.  We also had discussions about not wanting our children to be socially awkward or unable to make critical decisions on their own but we were also worried about all the negative and evil influences they would inevitable encounter in public school.  We looked into charter schools but felt the drive (about an hour roundtrip 2x/day) would be too much for me and ultimately more of a stress on our family than was worth it.  However, I think my part of this decision was most swayed by an article in the (I'm pretty sure) church news that my Grandma gave me.  Basically the woman talks about how our children are such a value to public schools because they grow up learning how to be good leaders.  She said in essence that if every Christen person pulled their children out of public school, there wouldn't be any good left.

I felt that rather than be worried about the evil influences my child would experience, I would push into the schools, helping where I could to create a better learning environment for everyone.  Between my other children, Brian's incredibly clingy nature and my part-time work, I was unable to volunteer as much as I had envisioned but I was happy with Brian's education and experience.  Kindergarten was fantastic and allowed Brian to become more independent than he would have at home.  I was and still tend to be a coddling parent, putting on my child's shoes even after then are perfectly capable of doing it themselves.  For the record, I do still feel it is important for us to "push" into the schools and our communities and offer our strengths and opinions instead of ignore the negative things and close ourselves off to the world.

Brian's 1st grade year was horrible compared to kindergarten. His teacher, through no fault of her own had a very different personality and classroom management from his kindergarten teacher. And so it started.  the notes and phones calls home, the teacher conferences, the talks with Brian, Daddy's talks with Brian, the restricting of privileges at home and at school.  We made it through the year by trying this and talking and trying that.  This is also when homework started to become a struggle as well.  Brian had absolutely no desire to complete homework and reading a 50-100 word book 3 times literally took over an hour.  I should also note that his slightly above grade level math skills were ignored.  I had to ask about his math scores during parent teacher conferences and the teacher looked shocked that they were on par.  Why, oh why can we not play to a child's strengths?

Second grade started without any thought of homeschooling on my part.  We got a phone call the first day of school and I thought, "No!  Not again!" but I simply laid everything on the table.  I explained to Brian's teacher exactly how I viewed Brian and his personality and what he needed and what would not help.  And it worked!  He had a great fall term!  Our fall parent teacher conference was wonderful!  And then Brian's teacher went on maternity leave and then we moved to Oklahoma.  The first few weeks in Oklahoma were fine and then it started again.  Well, I was tired of it and I was to the point were I was unwilling to even try and work with his teacher.  I saw the same relaxed classroom management in this classroom teacher as Brian's first grade teacher and even less effort to make things work.  Again, I am not faulting the teacher.  With a classroom full of 25 students, a classroom teacher has to teach to the middle- the middle level, the middle behavior, the middle personality.  Yes, there are little accommodations that are easy and can make a difference but Brian is not middle/average anything.

After a spring break long talk with Dusty and God, I marched in the office Monday morning, March 24th (shaking in my boots from nerves) and un-enrolled Brian.  As a tender mercy from the Lord, the office staff did not ask any digging questions and simply followed procedure and asked me to fill out a form, collect Brian's things, pick up his report card etc.  If they thought it was odd that I was leaving Samantha enrolled in kindergarten, they gave no indication which was also a blessing.  I really thought I was going to have to talk to the principal in the least and defend my decision.  whew!

I found myself at home all day with my 8-year old, a list of Idaho's state curriculum standards and no clue what to do.  That's probably not completely true.  Given my teaching degree, I had a very good idea of how to plan a lesson and create learning objectives and align teaching activities with state standards but when I did that, it backfired.  I created a lesson plan and Brian hated it.  It felt exactly like homework every afternoon where I stood pulling teeth to get him to finish his work so he could go play.

Now what?

Blessedly, the Lord placed a wonderful new friend in my path here in Oklahoma who has been home-schooling her children for 5 years and I have an amazing and loving cousin in Canada who was willing to listen to all my concerns and questions and point me in a good direction.  These 2 women helped me see me for who I am and helped me have the confidence and courage I needed to do something different.

I approached homeschooling like most of us approach something new- the way I would have liked it. I grew up the perfect honor roll, student.  I love to read, I would love to go back to college!  I would love degrees in business and psychology and a doctorate of education.  I was that student asking the teacher for extra work in elementary school because I liked to fill in the blanks and get the perfect score.  But that is me, not my son. "Books and Cleverness.  There are more important things: Friendship and bravery."

These are the articles that my cousin sent me to help me rediscover what learning really is and create a doable plan for Brian and I.
de-schooling
Proprioceptive System  Don't be scared by that big, weird word.  The article is very well written.  It did take some time for me to digest but a very enlightening read for me!
This one talks about some of the same things.
Is Your Child Ready to Read?

These are a few more articles that have helped too.
The Importance of Play
Magical Childhood

So right now, our home school looks a lot like playing, and it is.  Because for a child, playing is learning.   Right now, we are in our de-schooling period. While Brian is playing, I am trying to keep up and make his learning a little more obvious to him.  When he reads a sign on our walk, I can point out, you sounded out that word, it's a lot like this word.  Or when we're leaving the house to go on an outing, I say, "it's 1:30 right now. We have to pick up Samantha at 3:30.  How long to we have to spend at the museum?" There are a lot of ways to increase incidental learning.  The other thing I am really working on right now, is learning how to communicate with Brian.  He can share a lot more about what he is learning if he has confidence.  Again and again, not faulting the public school teachers (remember, I've been there) but to a child who sees something or listens to something read aloud to them and wants to make a connection to that, the teacher's, "now is not the time for comments Brian" can be very damaging.  Brian is learning that at home school, anytime is a good time for a comment or question.  At some point, all this talking will turn into writing and all this playing will become more structured.  In order for Brian to be able to continue to learn and do the things he wants to do, he will need to acquire better reading, writing and math skills.  As he progresses, I will look into the possibility of using marketed curriculum, online education, charter schools and yes even public school.

Is Brian behind the Idaho state educational standards?  Yes.  Will he continue to be behind?  Yes.  But he WILL grow up to become a skilled, employed, successful adult.  I can't predict what Brian's future will hold.  I have no idea if he will get a typical college degree.  But I am okay with that and I am beginning to embrace that.  I can provide a safe environment for Brian to learn naturally.  I can foster that learning by engaging with him.  I can lead him to greater learning.  I can help him develop his strengths.  I can say no to a public school that for him would force him to believe the worst in himself.  I can teach him that there is value in knowledge.  I can remind him that learning is exciting and fun!


No comments: